Contributed by reader Devathas Satianathan
Author Devathas Satianathan finishing his 8km race in third place at the POSB Run for Kids event earlier this year. (Photo © Les Tan/Red Sports file photo)
“I have never been a killer. I’m not an aggressive personality and if I can remember any emotion I felt during a race it was fear. The greatest stimulator of my running was fear,” Herbert Elliott, former Australian world-record holder in the 1500m and the mile in the late 1950s once said.
In that sentence, Herb Elliott succinctly noted the most daunting challenge facing any athlete awaiting the sound of the starting gun – fear.
While the idea of such a distinguished runner possessing fear may seem incongruous, it nonetheless conveys a truth. A truth that only a kindred spirit – one who has physically, mentally, and spiritually been subjected to similar conditions – can comprehend.
I am not one at present, having no experience of a 10,000m track race. It is hence with an innate yet ambivalent enthusiasm that I look forward to creating an experience for myself as I gear up for my debut in the 10,000m at the Institute-Varsity-Polytechnic (IVP) Track-and-Field Championships this Sunday.
And as you reach for your calculator, fret not. I've done the gloomy math. It is twenty-five 400m laps of the track. No less.
What Herb Elliott purports to be daunting, in my opinion, extends further from the physical attributes of the surface and delves into the ambience … the quintessence … the spirit of the track. And by track, I do not just mean the rubberized surface which is characterized in the technological world of today as either "tartan" or "mondo".
I mean everything that surrounds and permeates the oval from the screaming fans to the smell of deep-heating ointment in the call-room.
Everything plays a role in daunting the apprehensive athlete.
Everything plays a role in inspiring fear.
Everything contributes to the fluttering of the seemingly countless butterflies as one's foot carefully nestles just adrift of the all-powerful white starting line.
Everything seeks to remind the athlete of the sheer insanity and irrationality of the task at hand, as the mind attempts, albeit in vain, to convince the heart otherwise.
So why do it? Why propel oneself past that white line at all?
Running is inherently a sport about struggle. An attempt at rational justification will inevitably be confronted by logical fallacies.
“If it causes pain, why do it?” is often the query that preludes a slowing down to a shuffle, as arms reach down for knees.
For their health, many runners would reply, as they reach for their sports drink and head for their illegally parked vehicle along the fringe of a certain carpark B1. Yet the conflict between body and mind, which capitulates in ´pain', casts doubt on the sensibility of such noble pursuits.
Currently nursing a shin injury as the IVP race draws nearer each day, this notion of pain is more familiar than I can ever know. Yet I know giving up is no option.
Running and racing have become a part of my life. Yet I suspect, somehow, that I am taking on my first 10,000m race on the fiery red not because running and racing have become second nature to me but because of something greater that is inherent within track-running.
The allure of the sport is within, the same seductive grip that pushed the likes of El Guerrouj to vomit his guts out after lactic acid-inducing repetitions of the track for the sake of seconds; that same medusa gaze that kept Steve Prefontaine rooted to his passion; and that same dedication to the craft that inspired a certain Bill Bowerman to experiment with his wife's waffle iron in absurd ways.
And that is what is now keeping me from heeding the advice of well-meaning doctors to refrain from subjecting my shins to the twenty-five laps of the track.
I have been through the distance, yet the distance commands no sanctity. A scenic trail presents no worthy adversary, it catalyses no fear; nowhere on the scale that the elliptical beast does. What distinguishes track-running from its road-running counterpart is, in a word, magic.
The co-existence of tension and monotony, the silent moments of solitude against the deafening cheers from filled stands, the concurrent sparks of endorphin-induced euphoria and a stupor inspired by repetition, and the brutality of the constant confrontation between six-millimeter shards of steel and what-may-seem-to-be-defenseless rubber, each conspire to give rise to illusions, both of magnificent victory and crushing defeat.
Running on track and on road, though still running, are as different as night and day. I have taken part in several road races over the past three years. Despite having, through failures and defeats, amassed a myriad of experiences on the road, I gain little comfort from them as I stand toe-to-toe with my new foe.
In the face of this Goliath, the experience of my road races provides me with scant help. Add to that the actual wear of the body over the twenty-five laps, the sheer irrationality in returning to the same spot after every four-hundred metres, the intimidating and daunting intimacy of the competition and, not to forget, my injury, and you will see how toeing the line come race-day is a raw David, out of his wits!
Yet, it is not all bad. Just as track makes things infinitely more complicated, it simplifies as well. In an Occam's razor fashion, unnecessary edges are shaven away, so to speak. Forget about facades, accolades, ticks and stripes; everyone is reduced to a number. Each athlete is an individual yet part of a whole; part of an experience.
In the words of the great Steve Prefontaine, “Running is a work of art that people can look at and be inspired in as many ways as they're capable of understanding.”
It is in this frame of mind that I am bracing myself for battle this Sunday.
I look forward to creating a small piece of history, of art, with my fellow competitors amongst whom I count friends and peers. It is not about the track, the competition and the clock.
Each one of my competitors is not merely a competitor out there with me. A bête noire he may be to me for twenty-five laps; a friend for life. Yet as the sun contemplates its exit on an unsuspecting Sunday, when studs dig into the red as eyes drift upward for guidance, this will all amount to dust.
And all I will have for company is fear.
IVP Track & Field Championships
Event Programme
DAY 1 - 11th Oct 2008 (Track Events)
Event No. Time Event Category Status
101 1400 110M Hurdles Men Heats
102 1415 100M Hurdles Women Heats
103 1435 100M Men Heats
104 1445 100M Women Heats
105 1500 400M Men Heats
106 1510 400M Women Heats
107 1520 1500M Men Finals
108 1535 1500M Women Finals
109 1550 3000M SC Men Final
INTERVAL
110 1630 110M Hurdles Men Finals
111 1640 100M Hurdles Women Finals
112 1700 100M Men Finals
113 1705 100M Women Finals
114 1710 400M Men Finals
115 1715 400M Women Finals
116 1720 10,000M Men Finals
117 1810 4 x 100M Men Heats
118 1820 4 x 100M Women Heats
DAY 1 - 11th Oct 2008 (Field Events)
119 1400 Pole Vault Men Finals
120 1400 Triple Jump Men Finals
121 1400 High Jump Women Finals
122 1400 Discus Men Finals
123 1615 Triple Jump Women Finals
124 1615 Shot Put Women Finals
125 1615 Javelin Men Finals
DAY 2 - 18th Oct 2008
Event No. Time Event Category Status
201 1400 400M Hurdles Women Timed Finals
202 1415 400M Hurdles Men Timed Finals
203 1430 200M Women Heats
204 1440 200M Men Heats
205 1450 800M Women Finals
206 1500 800M Men Finals
Prize Presentation #1
207 1530 3,000M Women Finals
208 1600 200M Women Finals
209 1605 200M Men Finals
Prize Presentation #2
210 1645 4 x 100M Women Finals
211 1650 4 x 100M Men Finals
212 1700 5000M Men Finals
213 1750 4 x 400m Women Timed Finals
214 1800 4 x 400m Men Timed Finals
Prize Presentation #3 (Final)
Day 2 - 18th Oct 2008 (Field Events)
215 1400 Discus Women Finals
216 1400 Long Jump Women Finals
217 1400 High Jump Men Finals
218 1615 Javelin Women Finals
219 1615 Long Jump Men Finals
220 1615 Shot Put Men Finals
Start lists can be downloaded at Start Lists: IVP Track-and-Field Championships Day 1 and Start Lists: IVP Track-and-Field Championships Day 2.
Hey devathas, remmember me? I’m Hicham your ultimate role model and inspiration. Glad you wrote about me and look up to me as much as you do. Actually, I think you got it wrong when you said I vomitted after hard training session. Where did you get that from? I think thats not quite accurate. I mostly only collapse from exhaustion and fatigue doing 8-10 35sec 300 metres repeats with rabbits in the final 150 or 200m to simulate accelerations in race situations on the track. Besides that, I may also get very tired and lose my appetite for dinner while doing 10x300m hill repeats in 40-42 seconds with a 15 degree incline up in the Atlas mountains in Ifrane, Morroco, where the altitude is 1600m. But vommiting is not my thing. Crying is. I cried many days and nights after losing Sydney 2000 Olympic 1500m finale and after falling down in the 1996 Atlanta Olympics 1500m finale.
I have some advice and praise for you Devathas. I think you are a gifted writer. What distinguishes you from already superb writers is not your vocabulary tank; but the ability to utilise those same few vocabulary and orchestrate them in such a way that makes readers believe they are really on site at the scene. Such an enchanting style of writing casts a vicarious spell over your readers and thats what makes you endearing to many people. I must say such a style of writing is really rare these days. I have read a few of such prose, mostly descriptive ones like yours, in journals and accounts mostly about a certain outstanding theme, like running, food, love and marriage and many more.
I have one last advice for you Devathas. That is to never run with an injury thats not completely healed. Unless you plan to quit running in the short-term, then you wouldnt want to do such a thing by racing with an injury. For longevity, you must withdraw from the race, and think in terms of yourself, by taking stock of yourself, and protecting yourself and the like. Of course I know you want to do it for your team, to help your team score points, but you are jeapardizing your team rather than helping your team, if you think carefully, when you run with pain or run on less than strong legs. You are strengthening and training your mind and willpower to NOT RUN more than WILLING YOURSELF TO FIGHT THROUGH THE PAIN AND RUN. Its called the restrainement or self control and self discipline. Its the key to success in long distance running. I learnt it the hard way before Sydney Olympics. I trained like a man without a mind. I was illogical and irrational and indiscipline and ran myself into the ground everyday in training, and hence my loss in Syndey. Please don’t ever be like me. Discipline, in whatever forms, in the key to success, including injury disciplining.
I’m Hicham El Guerrouj once again and signing off…..wishing you all the best.
sir what are your views on high mileage schedules for middle distance runners?
Hi all, the start lists for both days of the IVP Track-and-Field C’ships have been uploaded here at the end of the page. Feel free to access the information ;).
very inspiring piece. all the best for tomorrow’s race, devathas! may you conquer your personal Goliath!
Haha Les, I’m sorry for the syllable-pollution! It was a pleasure writing for you. Will have to give (due) credit to Colin though (for having saved my literary career from near ‘infant mortality’). Haha, I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to furnish you with the details at the nearest given opportunity. I do hope to write more articles for you in the future. It’s my humble way of paying tribute to your inspiring and (as you’ve rightly mentioned) thriving brainchild.
Cheers : )
P.S. I do anticipate a rather bad race this Sunday given my short jogabout today. This is hence a pre-emptive bid to downplay any expectations! Nevertheless, everything in my article still stays true. The fear could never be more apparent!
@Devathas: No need to apologise. You raised the standard for all of us. One of the best stories we’ve had from readers so far! Regardless of the outcome of your race, you must write a post-race story. You can’t stop now!
Can’t resist jumping in – dichotomisation and dichotomy are different. The latter describes a split and the former the act of splitting. And now to back to your regular sports programming….
I am in my mid 30’s and now run for fun. Used tto run middle distance in school.
I read in an old article circa 1972 the following comments
1. “True sport is the manifestation of man’s seemingly innate urge to play. True sport is organised for and often by participants, and is essentially a private matter like eating or making love”
2. “High sport is True sport raised to the level of art by the talent, even genius, of its participants. It is public in the sense that all art is public. Great music, painting, literature or sport is incomplete until that time when it is displayed, judged and acclaimed.
3. “Finally, there is Big Sport in which elements of True Sport and High Sport are present but modified by other considerations. notably commerce and politics”
I think none of us are true “purists”-ie people who take part in only “true sport”. At some point of time we go into “High sport” or “Big Sport”.
Anyway, enjoy your race!
I wonder if dichotomisation = dichotomy? Nominalising a verb which is derived from a noun. hmm. haha
Anyway, great article, though I’d advise caution re the “6mm shards of steel” if you’re having shin issues.
Breaking it up into 5 laps/6laps at a time helps heaps too.
And regarding intrinsic vs extrinsic reasons for sport participation, you’re right in that arguably all elite sportsmen have extrinsic reasons for participating. Studies have looked into this cos it has applications for population health in motivating people to exercise, and I guess it makes sense, for no sane person runs over 130kms a week, does reps that induce violent regurgitation and eats the stuff they have to for the fun of it. They want to win.
Dear Nicholas,
Thanks for the comment. I appreciate your astute dichotomisation between ‘purists’ and ‘the general population’. It seems you’re of the opinion that the latter adopt an ‘investment’ approach in reaping ‘joy’ out of the sport, whereas the former are ‘consumers’, deriving benefit through every step of the way.
I was (and rather stubbornly, still am in fact) of that opinion. Yet as I come across articles in which professionals and highly admired figures lament on the pains and hardships, I am somewhat comforted by their human-ness.
@Devathas: I think that is the first time (and probably the last) that anyone used the word “dichotomisation” on Red Sports. This site is going places.
Jokes aside, I enjoyed your article, Devathas. Great read. : )
Hey, thanks for the article. I hope you’ll enjoy your race
Runners run because of the joy the sport gives them. Joy is a feeling which has in it both pleasure and pain.
A race well run, to the best of my abilities gives me joy. It is painful during the race but the immense pleasure on completing the race, on conquering my fear makes the pain worth it.
We perform best in a state of relaxed tension-the “zone”. There must be enough tension in us to spur us on to give of our best,to train consistently, yet we can only give of our best if we are relaxed in mind and body once the gun goes off. That is the challenge we all face.
The purists run for the sake of running itself.Not for health, not to win, not to conquer self. Running becomes a form of play. And play is what gives us joy.
Dude…10km seems pretty daunting but nevertheless it is all in your mind man. I am pretty sure you can handle it well. Running is all about your mind, control it and success is just around the curve. All the best at IVP my friend.
Take care and rest well (:
cheers
peace