Hey athletes,

I recently posted about the silly things a coach will say in the heat of the moment. Since then you all have been adding what you’ve heard your coaches say when they can’t control themselves. Some of them are quite funny and so I’ve promoted it to this list.

The only reason why I’m doing such a story was to let you all know that you can nominate your coach for an award given by the Singapore Sports Council. The deadline for a nomination is 30 June 2007. You can check out more details at www.ssc.gov.sg/CRA2007.

So here’s the ever-expanding list:

1. “Can you see where the ball is going?!”

2. “Do you want to play this game or not?!”

3. “What kind of pass is that?! You want me to slap you?!”

4. “Did I teach you to throw into the defenders hands?!”

5. “ni shi pen dan!” (Translation: “You are stupid!”)

6. “Do you hate your opponent?! Do you hate your opponent?!!”

7. “Why are you smiling? You very happy is it???”

8. “When he is going to score, you push him over! You go for his legs! You kick him! You don’t stand there and stare!!!”

9. “Har? ni zai pai zao ah? xiang ge mu tou yi yang!” (Translation: Huh? You taking photo is it? Stand like wooden-block like that!)

10. “Who teach you one? Your Grandma is it?”

11. “Move like a butterfly, sting like a bee, just try not to fall down lah.”

12. “Hey!! wad kind of pass is tat? u wanna come back to de bench and drink kopi with me?”

13. ” You think you playing primary school ah?! You no brain, ah? Can’t see the ball coming is it?

14. “****, is the ball a chicken? If not why so hard to pick it up?”

15. “You so slow cow go home drink milk already!”

16. “"DAMN!!!! Your daddy should have went fishin the day they made you!”

The only reason why I have a list of quotes is because the coaches YELL AT THE TOP OF THEIR VOICES at the game. When you are sitting at one end of the court and you can hear the coach from the other end of the court, that qualifies as yelling.

So, if you have a good coach, please, please, nominate him or her. You’d be doing Singapore sports and your juniors a big favour.

Red Sports. Always Game.

Les

Editor and photographer

p.s. I’m not putting up pictures of any coaches in case you think one of the quotes came from that person! If you have experiences to share, good and bad, regarding your coaches, leave it in the ‘comments’ section or the forum. And please, if it’s something, negative, NO NAMES, ok?